we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
