She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do vagina's smell?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize