I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
