i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
