We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
