the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
