I'm lost and stupid without you.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
