You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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