Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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