I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
