I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
