So drunk its hurt
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
