whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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