R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
