Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
