i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
