Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
