Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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