Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
