I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
