just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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