im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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