I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
