Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
