This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
