mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
and eventually we just all took our pants off
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
