i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
