Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
