ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
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