I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
