a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
pray to the hookup gods
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