so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
