I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
