i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
