i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
