The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
