porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
