i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
