My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
