Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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