I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
