didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
