Betty ford says i'm here all night
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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