You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
