for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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