I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
