Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
