yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
