I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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