She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
