You just made me feel so damn special
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
