So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
