Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
